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The Cruickshanks Gazette

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The Nosey Parker Guest & The Clean Freak Landlady

Arran Hotels

The Nosey Parker Guest & The Clean Freak Landlady

In the summer of our first season-we had a well healed wedding group stay. Reading like a modern day Agatha Christie novel: Surgeon, Accountant, Internet Entrepreneur, IT Consultant, Nurse and Property Developer they clearly welcomed the opportunity to have a weekend away from kids and day-jobs. 


An immediate priority was sourcing ‘good’ gin and settling in for some pre-dinner chat. Fascinated by our newfound career choice an uproarious conversation ensued on the related topics of personal foibles and most embarrassing landlady moments.  Our surgeon’s wife and the instigator of this strand of conversation confessed to ‘extreme nosiness’ while our landlady conceded a preoccupation with neatness, cleanliness and her relentless pursuit of these laudable ends.

On Sunday morning after much partying, four of our guests were down enjoying breakfast having made some provision for a respectable start, to include a ‘full Scottish’ with the need to be on an early ferry to catch a morning flight back south.  Later, much later, the 3rd couple staggered down to breakfast much the worse for wear and in dire need of copious orange juice and strong black coffee.  Minimal conversation revealed they were staying on until later in the day to attend a Sunday BBQ with the wedding couple.  As the first 4 guests were dashing out the door to their taxi, Anna stopped and opened her hand displaying a small earring saying, ‘I’ve dropped the other in the room and if you come across it could you send it on please’ and off she headed into the taxi. 

While Rob continued to maintain the flow of coffee and orange juice to our remaining couple, I popped up to our ‘mountain view’ guest bedroom to see if I could find the earring (I love the challenge of finding something that’s lost!). This bedroom has an old wooden floor with a Turkish rug and a big brass bed.  To my consternation as I focussed in on some of the rooms nooks I started to recognise minor but discernable traces of dust.  Eliminating these and then deciding to kill two birds with one stone I pulled out my iPhone torch so I could conduct a close and well-illuminated search and dust operation under the bed. As I slid below the brass on my tummy with my torch in one hand and duster in the other I became aware of steps slowly coming up the stairs.

To my horror and quickly pulling in all extremities I could see the feet had stopped in the doorway and strolled in to check out the room.  I froze and didn’t know what to do – call out from under the bed and say hello?  Instead I held my breath and remained silent and didn’t move.   Were my feet sticking out the end of the bed?  As the seconds dragged on the opportunity to reveal myself became more and more difficult.  Reflecting on the ridiculousness of the situation I became aware that a pair of male feet had joined those of Mrs Nosey.  But before the mother of all embarrassing moments came to full fruition both decided to head down the hall for a pre-lunch nap.

I never did find that earring.



Cruickshanks is a luxury 5-Star Boutique B&B based on Arran and has been awarded the AA Scottish Guest Accommodation of the Year. We are happy to provide help and advice on whatever itinerary takes your fancy; we also have storage and drying facilities available to all of our B&B guests.

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